“At first, we continue to believe in the relationship. We are ashamed of failure ”. With hindsight, she analyzes her own attitude better: “I made sure to satisfy him. I only cared about his well-being (…) We come to create our own scale of pain in which we are satisfied to have been beaten less severely than the previous times and to be truly relieved. (…) ”.
Despite the first beatings, she stayed with him and acted as if nothing had happened, hiding the bruises under long sleeves. She also accepted scenes of humiliation. She obeyed him "to have peace and for fear of reprisals."
Today, of course, she realizes that this behavior was unhealthy. “But when you're in a relationship, you don't have time to think. We only think of extinguishing fires permanently. It absorbs all our energy and in public, we pretend not to make waves ”, she wants to make understand to the relatives of the victims of domestic violence, who do not understand why they do not manage to leave the home.
“Over the weeks, our companion who hits us depersonalizes us. He manipulates us mentally, ”she argues. His was "Machiavellian." He was constantly blowing hot and cold ”. She remembers being "in constant confusion". “I no longer had a personality. I only existed through his gaze on me. When he told me I was ugly, I believed him and I complexed. I ended up believing each of his criticisms and that I was lucky that a man like him could love me ", confides the one who understood, thanks to psychotherapy, that her ex-companion" only loved him ". (to be continued in our next edition)(Read more on www.soualigapost.com)
No comments